The symptoms of my chronic illness can be likened to riding a roller coaster, in more ways than one! One day I can find myself at the tippy-top of those tracks enjoying the view, and the next day, or even the next minute, I'm flying down those same tracks at what seems faster than the speed of light!
When I find myself riding that roller coaster over and over again for many days in a row with no break in between, I admit I become very weary and have a huge tendency to fall into the "why me" mode.
I just want to jump off that ride, grab a chocolate milk shake, some popcorn, cotton candy, find a nice cozy bench to snuggle up on and do some people watching!
Last week was one of those times when I found myself drowning in doubt, swallowed up in self-pity, under a mountain of unanswered questions!
I sounded much like Asaph when he penned Psalm 73!
Asaph was comparing his situation to the rich and those who were prospering in wealth, and yet had no regard whatsoever for the things of the Lord.
Granted, I don't compare myself to the rich. I tend to look at those who choose to live however they desire, with no thought of the Lord, and yet are healthy as can be.
I know that's SHALLOW, FOOLISH, SINFUL.
I'm just being REAL!
"For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."
II Corinthians 10:12
I substituted "health issues" whenever it mentioned "wealth issues" when I read the following verses from Psalm 73!
"But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.
For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men."
"And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?
Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.
Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.
For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning."
"When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me."
Asaph made some extremely bold, yet heartfelt statements.
He was questioning why he was living a godly life just to have so many troubles, while the ungodly were prospering and living "the high life"!
These people wanted nothing to do with the Lord, yet it appeared the Lord was abundantly blessing them, while Asaph, who WAS living for the Lord, was suffering and enduring hard trials!
I could definitely relate.
How about you?
was making sense
to us either!
But wait, Asaph isn't finished speaking yet!
"Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end."
Once Asaph went into the temple of God he was reminded of the "end" of the wicked.
"Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.
How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors."
Asaph was also reminded of a few more things,
"Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.
So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.
Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.
Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory."
The Lord graciuosly reminds Asaph that he has something SO MUCH BETTER than wealth!
He has the Lord holding him by his hand AT ALL TIMES!
I, too, have something SO MUCH BETTER than good health!
I have the Lord holding me by my hand AT ALL TIMES!
Asaph was also gently reminded by the Lord that he has the privilege to receive wisdom and counsel from the Lord each and every day, and then one day he will be with the Lord in glory for ALL eternity!
I, too, have the privilege to receive wisdom and counsel from the Lord each and every day, and then one day, because of my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I, too, will be with the Lord in glory for ALL eternity!
of good health
One day last week when my tears were flowing and my doubts were soaring, I had to STOP and "go into the sanctuary of the Lord" (in my case it was my prayer closet) and cry out to my Saviour for help.
I begged the Lord to remove the doubts, self-pity, ugliness and pride, and help me to refocus my attention back onto Him.
The Lord led me to read aloud Psalm 139 several times.
This psalm written by David gives abounding assurance to the TRUTH that we are NEVER alone, there is no where we can go that the Lord is not with us, God's thoughts of us are innumerable, and we indeed are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creater!
Trust me, the truth of God's word DOES bring comfort!
the very best
for a weary heart!
After reading Psalm 73 followed by Psalm 139, I was feeling so much better.
The Lord had restored unto me His joy and His peace!
He exchanged my thoughts for His thoughts!
The Lord graciously and gently reminded me that He can and will use this chronic illness for HIS honor and for HIS glory when I yield it and myself entirely to Him!
I'm slowly, but surely, learning day by day that the Lord is much more concerned about my spiritual condition than my physical condition!
After reading and meditating upon Psalm 73 and Psalm 139, the Lord had restored my focus back on Him, and I exclaimed ALOUD the words to the following song! Knowing I NEVER walk alone because of my PRECIOUS Saviour! Hallelujah!
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May God Bless You,