“In Sickness and In Health”

“In Sickness and In Health”

Please forgive me for sharing another "repeat" post. But this has become our "wedding anniversary" post, just with another year of love added on and a few changes from last year!   

This past Monday, August 13th, Brian and I celebrated our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary!

It honestly does not feel like it's been thirty-five years already!

Where has

the time gone?

I can still picture us standing in Brian's parent's backyard with only the best man and matron of honor in our wedding party with about forty friends and family members gathered around as we said, "I do"!

Our wedding!

It was a very simple wedding ceremony without all the fancy fuss, glamoury glitz or mounds of money shelled out! But there most certainly was loads of love!

I guess you could say our wedding theme was, "Money can't buy me love!"

Have you ever stopped and wondered how many couples, as they say their wedding vows, REALLY are pondering and truly thinking about what they are promising as they stare deeply into one another's eyes totally oblivious to all those around them?

At only twenty years of age on the day of our wedding, I definitely would have been picturing the part about "in sickness", as something simple like the flu, a cold, the stomach bug, a broken bone!

And I most certainly would have thought of it being played out when Brian and I were much older. Certainly not beginning when I was thirty-nine and still lingering on now at the age of fifty-five with no relief in sight.

Now that we are empty-nesters, aren't these supposed to be the carefree days?

Time to just pick up, pack up, and head out whenever, wherever, for however long? 

hawaii photo

Well, unfortunately, since chronic illness invaded our marriage, none of those things are happening for us. (Yes, please go ahead and insert a huge sigh of disappointment right about here!)

Brian and I often find ourselves in a "Catch-22". We both go through times of feeling guilty. Of course I feel the guilt for having the chronic illness, and Brian carries the guilt of not being able to fix me. Both of which are completely wrong thoughts. 

Did you realize the divorce rate in couples in which one spouse has a serious chronic illness is as high as seventy-five percent?

Some might think it would be best to become bitter and just turn our backs on God since He allowed chronic illness to invade our marriage and turned our world upside down.

WHAT?

The Lord is our rock, our strength, our refuge, our defender, our strong tower, etc. etc. etc.!

He is our Good, Good Father!

He is our Saviour!

He is our

EVERYTHING!

Chronic illness definitely has the potential to take its toll on a marriage, even to the point of completely destroying it, BUT GOD has the ability to cause your marriage, to not just survive, but to THRIVE!

We have found that the ONLY way for our marriage to not just survive, but to thrive through chronic illness, is for Brian to have the Lord at the center of his life. For me to have the Lord at the center of my life. And for us to have the Lord at the center of our marriage.

Chronic illness creates the demand for a “new normal.” There is no going back to the way things were, only going forward.

Over the years as my illness has progressed, gotten worse and changed, we have adjusted and changed our "normal".

  • Instead of going into restaurants for dates, we now go on truck dates, and we LOVE them!
  • When we cannot be in church, we watch the services by way of the live stream which we are SO VERY THANKFUL our church provides.
  • Since chronic illness invaded our marriage, we are much more prone to say, "thank you", for the help we are able to give each other, no matter how small or menial the task may seem.
  • We have learned over the years of dealing with chronic illness to never take the simple things of life for granted or take each other for granted!
  • We remind each other quite often throughout the day that we love, appreciate and are praying for one another either by way of phone calls or text messages!
  • Chronic illness has taught us to be quick to apologize when we have wronged one another. We talk though the problem, then let it be and do not rehash it again. Life is too short for petty, silly arguments. 
  • We try to find silly little things to laugh about!

We would be telling a flat-out lie if we said we enjoy doing this thing called "chronic illness"!

Who would ever

want sickness

to be part

of their marriage?

BUT, the bottom line is that God makes no mistakes and He has chosen Brian and I to walk this path, which for now, includes living daily with a chronic illness.

We don't understand why, but we don't need to understand why because God is God and we are not!

"Who hath directed the Spirit of the Lord, or being his counsellor hath taught him? With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and taught him knowledge, and shewed to him the way of understanding?"
Isaiah 40:13-14

Honor and glorify the Lord so others will see Christ in us. That they will see a difference. That they might come to know Christ as their personal Saviour.

Rejoice knowing God is in control of everything.

Praise the Lord for all that He can and will accomplish through this trial if we allow Him the opportunity to do so! In other words, if we get out of His way and if we allow Him to have His way!

The following is something which Brian and I do MANY times a day!

When I

think about

the only things

in life

that pull me

through,

I hit my knees

and thank

the Lord

for Jesus

and you! 


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May God Bless You,

Barb

8 Comments

  • Zebra4Jesus

    August 15, 2018 at 8:59 am Reply

    O Barb, I so love this one!!!! I so love Jesus and my husband!!! And as I look back over our lives, I really don't think my hubs knew what he was promising and doing when he said 'I do' to me. I don't think he (nor me) knew how long and deep my chronic fatigue would be and get to be. And through the trials and tough times as I cling to Jesus I see His hand in all of my life. He's amazing. And he gave me the most wonderful husband to help me through. And the most precious children to brighten my days. And as I listened to the song (which I never heard before) I was touched. That is so fitting. And when I thick about the only things in life that pull me through I thanks the Lord for Jesus and you. This you also includes my children, my truly understanding friends and those who think they understand and truly care and try to help. Many blessings on your day and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! HUGS. Your fellow Zebra

    • Barb

      August 15, 2018 at 9:20 pm Reply

      My fellow zebra, it's always a JOY to hear from you! I loved reading your comment. You are an incredible blessing to me! Isn't it wonderful that the Lord blessed us both with such wonderful husbands who love us in sickness and in health ❤ Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Love and appreciate you ❤

  • andrea may

    August 15, 2018 at 2:16 pm Reply

    thank you barb for this. praise the Lord He is the center of you both. xxoo Andrea

    • Barb

      August 15, 2018 at 9:22 pm Reply

      Andrea, what a great and blessed surprise and JOY to hear from you. Your comment made my day! Love you my sweet friend ❤

  • Diane

    August 15, 2018 at 3:43 pm Reply

    Such a good reminder to keep looking up. No matters what befalls us, He is there to carry us through.
    May God bless you both in your anniversary week.

    • Barb

      August 15, 2018 at 9:51 pm Reply

      Diane, so happy to hear from you. This is something I'm really getting used to ... such a blessing ❤
      Thank you so much for the great reminder that no matter what happens, the Lord is always there to carry us through. AMEN!
      Thank you so very much for the Happy Anniversary wish ❤
      Love and appreciate you Barb

  • Linda

    August 17, 2018 at 11:59 pm Reply

    Happy Anniversary, Barb and Brian! As I was reading, Barb, I thought that many of the things you have put into place in your lives are things every couple would benefit from. Of course, the foundation has to be the Lord for the other things to fall into place. He is with us through thick and thin - we can rely on that!! Your lives, your marriage is a testimony to your commitment to the Lord and to each other - what a wonderful witness that is! Much love - and big hugs zooming their way to you, my friend! ❤️

    • Barb

      August 20, 2018 at 1:52 pm Reply

      Linda my sweet friend, it's so good to hear from you. I've been praying for you and your family trusting that all is well. You are so correct that the things which i mentioned should be a part of every marriage, especially with the Lord at the center ❤ Praise the Lord that He is with us through thick and thin and everything in between ❤
      Sending you bucket loads of hugs and love my dear friend ❤

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