Taking An Intermission From The Election!

Taking An Intermission From The Election!

I don't know about you, but I'm more than ready for a much needed break from all the election banter.

I'm tired of hearing and seeing the same television commercials played over and over and over.

A bit overwhelmed by all the comments, personal debates, sarcastic jabs, and downright hatred being posted nonstop on facebook.

Definitely time for me to take a much needed intermission from it all!

Oh, don't get me wrong  I'm fully aware of the monumental importance of this election.  

Trust me, I take none of it lightly.

Of course I will be voting.  In fact I have my absentee ballot in hand, and I will be exercising my privilege and freedom to vote within the next few days!

I will be carefully and prayerfully considering the candidates for all the various offices, the Justices of The Supreme Court, and the different issues listed on the ballot.  I will be checking my "local voter's guide" to obtain information to see where the candidates stand on certain issues.   

“I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;  For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.  For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour.”
II Timothy 2:1-3

But just for a few moments, let's just step away from it all, and put into practice the following verse

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine"
Proverbs 17:22      

So grab your favorite snack, kick back, put your mind in neutral and hopefully you'll laugh at least a little bit!

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Here we go
as we unplug
for just
a few minutes!

(license)
(license)

A day
without sunshine

is like, NIGHT!

Why did the scientist
install a knocker
on his door?
He wanted to win
the No-bell prize!

A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time.  The church lights were lowered, and the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.  All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you...!"     

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Have you ever wondered why
they call the airport
“a terminal”
if flying is supposedly
so safe?     

When everything’s
coming your way,
you’re in
the wrong lane!

What has
one horn
and gives milk?

A MILK TRUCK!

What gets wetter
the more it dries?
A TOWEL!

Have you ever wondered why people say they “slept like a baby”, when babies normally wake up every two hours?      

What's another name
for a raisin?

A grape
with a sunburn!

When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in the mid-afternoon, she worried about her seven-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from school to home. Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her daughter walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed.  Seeing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!"     

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For Sale: Parachute.
Only used once,
never opened!

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him,
“How many women can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” 
the boy said.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer
so quickly.
”How do you know that?”
”Easy,” the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Pastor said:

4 better, 
4 worse,
4 richer, 4 poorer!”      

What is faster
hot or cold?
Hot,
because you can
catch a cold! 

Have you ever wondered why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box in triangular slices?

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What stays
in the corner
and travels
all over the world?
A STAMP!!

What clothes
does a
house wear?

ADDRESS!!!

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.  Joel giggled, sang,
and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why?  Who's going to stop me?"  Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and 
said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers!"     

What did
one elevator
say to the other?
I think
I'm coming down
with something!

What often falls
but never gets hurt?

RAIN!!

Why are frogs
so happy?
They eat
whatever
bugs them!

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What do
you get
when you cross
a stream
and a brook?
WET FEET!

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw a picture of their favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it represented.
”The flight to Egypt,” said Kyle.

”I see.  That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,”
Miss. Terri said.
"But who’s the fourth person?”
Kyle quickly replied,
"Oh, that’s Pontius-the Pilot!"    

What do you call
a boomerang
that doesn’t
come back?
A STICK!!!

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball!!    

What looks like
half an apple?
The other half!!

apple photo

Why didn't
the skeleton
go to the dance?
Because he had
"NO BODY"
to go with!

How can you drop
a raw egg
onto a
concrete floor
without cracking it?
Concrete floors
are very hard
to crack!!!!

What lies
on its back,
one hundred feet
in the air?
A dead centipede!

If it took eight men
ten hours
to build a wall,
how long would it take
four men to build it?

No time at all,
it's already built!    

What do you call
a parade
of rabbits
hopping backwards?
A receding
hare-line!

What do you call
an old snowman?

WATER!!!

SNOWMAN photo

How can
you lift
an elephant
with one hand?
It's not
a problem,
since you'll
never find
an elephant
with one hand!

What is it
that goes up
and goes down
but does
not move?
The temperature!

My three-year old was watching out the window as I was driving.  Suddenly he got very upset, saying,
"Oh, they're really gonna get it now!  Oh, are they gonna get it now!"
Seeing nothing happening outside, I asked my son,
"Who's gonna get it?  What did they do?"
With all the seriousness of a three-year old, and pointing to the stream of vapor behind a plane in the sky,
he exclaimed, "The guy driving that plane!  Look at that!  He scratched the sky, and everywhere he goes he keeps scratching the sky, and is God ever gonna be mad at him!"      

Jokes by:
dianedew.com
www.jokes4us.com
www.tensionnot.com

Okay
back to
REALITY!!!

I hope, and pray, that just for a few minutes you were able to relax, laugh and just tune out!  

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Just one more thing

before we

kick it back

into the "real world"!!!
ENJOY!!!!


If you have been helped by this post and think it could be helpful to someone you know, please share this post on the social network of your choice for me.

All you have to do is click one of the buttons below.

May God Bless You,

Barb

2 Comments

  • Linda

    October 21, 2016 at 4:05 am Reply

    Dear Barb, I could almost hear you giggling as you wrote all these jokes! I sure did smile - a lot!
    That verse is so true - a merry heart does do us good. It's been established that laughter does good things for our physical being!! We are not in the throes of elections here (that comes next year for us) - but NZers are taking a keen interest in what is happening/ what the outcome will be.
    Thank you for this post, Barb - it will cheer the heart of all who read! Sending love ❤️ and hugs across the seas - and prayers too.

  • Barb

    October 26, 2016 at 3:09 pm Reply

    My sweet Linda, I was indeed giggling as I wrote out all the jokes and little stories!! I'm so glad that they made you smile ... A LOT!! It is so true that a merry heart does do us good ... well guess it would stand to reason that it's true since it's Scripture!!!

    Yes, I imagine all of the world is watching as we go through this election! I, for one, will be glad when it is over! No matter who wins, we KNOW that God IS ALWAYS in control, and I am so thankful for that truth, especially with this election upon us!!

    Sending you you buckets of love and hugs across the seas.
    Love ya my friend, Barb

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