It Is Well With My Soul, Or Is It?

This post may appear mixed up and a bit confusing, but I wanted to share how the Lord, at times, totally interrupts and changes what I am writing!  That's how I know it's ALL THE LORD and none of me, which makes me so very thankful!

The picture below is a plaque which sets on our fireplace mantle.  It was a Mother’s Day gift from one of my most favorite adopted daughters!

I was in our living room reading my Bible one afternoon, and when I looked up and saw the plaque, my thoughts suddenly turned to, “Is it?” “Is it REALLY?”  “Is it REALLY well with MY soul?

I KNOW as a believer in Jesus Christ what my answer is supposed to be.

I KNOW what I desire for my answer to always be.

I KNOW according to God’s Word how to answer that question. 

BUT I also KNOW what it’s like to tear away the facades, to be brutally honest, to speak from the very depths of my inner most being and say, “NO, it is NOT always well with my soul."

I realize that’s not very encouraging, is it?

Not very spiritual, I know.

Not the normal “pat” answer that a believer should be giving.

I’m just being honest.

Transparent.

"Laying it on the line" so to speak!

Trust me, it’s something the Lord and I have discussed together on many different occasions!

Oh, don’t get me wrong, some days it is more than "well with my soul."

Sundays when I get to church are days it’s "very well with my soul!"

Days, like just recently, when one of my most favorite adopted daughters came to visit for the afternoon was definitely a day that was "well with my soul!"

Going on truck dates with my man are "exceptionally well with my soul days!"

Spending time in my "war room" reading God's Word and interceding in prayer on behalf of others are "amazing well with my soul days!"

When I can cook dinner for my hard-working hubby and do the laundry are "truly days it’s well with my soul!"

A phone call from my seven-year old granddaughter makes for a "great well with my soul day!"

When I'm writing the words which the Lord gives me to share on this site "always makes it well with my soul!"

Making cards for others are "fabulous well with my soul days!"

By now you are probably thinking, “Well, Barb, you sound like you’re doing rather well (no pun intended) with your “it is well with my soul days!"

And you know as I write them out, I'm a bit surprised at the amount of times when it really IS "well with my soul!"

This is where the Lord began changing the direction of this post!

I kept in what I originally wrote just so you can see first hand the Lord's leading!

So when are the times it's NOT "well with my soul?"

I really don’t like dealing with this illness day in and day out.  The unrelenting symptoms.  Missing out on all the fun stuff in life.  The loneliness which can be suffocating at times.  Being misunderstood in this disease.  Being limited in so many different ways.  The bucket loads of tears I've shed.  The unanswered questions.

Here is where the Lord totally changed my thought process.  

YES, many times I do feel EXACTLY the way I described in the paragraph above.

BUT as I was writing it out, the Lord reminded me of the things I just wrote which cause me to say, “it is well with my soul!"   He also reminded me that many of those things in that list are a direct result of my chronic illness!

For the longest time I would get a tad disturbed and quite angered every time someone would quote the above-mentioned verse to me!  

Why?

Because my first thought always was, "How am I supposed to see this illness with all its baggage as a good thing?"

The verse doesn't mean all things in my life are good.  It means the Lord can use all things in my life FOR my good.  I have certainly experienced that truth many times throughout my life, especially living with a life-altering chronic illness!

It would definitely be "well with my soul" to be out and about on the town doing lunch and shopping with the girls.  But then how could I totally understand and relate to those who can’t?  

It would definitely be "well with my soul" to be symptom free, to go about my day not thinking about every step I take, not needing to do everything sitting down because my balance is completely gone, and so much more.  But then how could I truly comfort those who must live this way, and live in even more challenging ways?

It would definitely be "well with my soul" to attend church every time the doors are open, to be a part of a life group, to never miss a church activity.  But then what words of encouragement could I share with those who, due to physical infirmities, have been unable to be in church in weeks, months or even years?

It would definitely be "well with my soul" to have a friend over to visit every few days.  To have lunch, to chat, to pray together.  But then how could I effectively pray for those who get no visitors, cards, text messages or phone calls?

Are you seeing the amazing transformation the Lord did right before my very own eyes?

I was heading into all the ways why my life is not "well with my soul!"

BUT GOD intervened and turned it all around!

How did He do it?

He simply took my eyes off ME and placed them upon OTHERS!

Yes, there are many circumstances in my life that are not "well with my soul" when I'm looking at them from the physical realm.  When I'm seeing them from the "here and now" stand point.

BUT I need to constantly be taking a step backwards and viewing everything in my life from a spiritual view, with eternity in the fore front of my mind at all times!

Is it always easy to do?  Absolutely not!

Is it easier to handle my symptoms and other trials, and say, "it is well with my soul", when I have my mind set on others and especially upon eternity?  ABSOLUTELY!

This is my favorite verse to the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul"

"My sin,
oh, the bliss
of this
glorious thought!
My sin,
not in part
but the whole,
is nailed
to the cross,
and I bear it
no more,
Praise the Lord,
Praise the Lord,
O my soul!"

Because of that verse being true in my life, it allows me to sing the following verse with faith, boldness, and nothing but thanksgiving in my heart to my Redeemer!

"And Lord,
haste the day
when my faith
shall be sight,
The clouds
be rolled back
as a scroll;
The trump
shall resound,
and the Lord
shall descend,
Even so,
it is well
with my soul."

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May God Bless You,

Barb